Friday, October 25, 2019

the lollipop

One day there was a girl named Emma and she loved lollipops. So one day Emma was sucking on a lollipop, then suddenly it disappeared, “my lollipop disappeared,” “but where did it go” she shouted then the lollipop. But then it reappeared. Emma was overwhelmed so she started sucking on the lollipop, but the next day came, Emma woke up to find she was a monster, a big ugly monster.Turns out that lollipop teleported into a nuclear factory and right into the reactor. Emma went to her mom, she screamed, She thought to herself “What am I gonna do about school”

5 comments:

  1. I really like the story, it was fun but I don't get the part when it said "she shouted then the lollipop."

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  2. Hi Nathan M. I think this story was very funny and I almost fell over I laughed so hard but in this sentence, " shouted then the lollipop. But then it reappeared." I think you got distracted because this part of the story kind of doesn't make sense so just stay focused on your work.

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  3. Hi Nathan M,
    I like your story, but I think that you should get rid of the quotation mark in between “my lollipop disappeared,” and “but where did it go” and just make it, “my lollipop disappeared, but where did it go?”

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  4. Dear Nathan,
    Great Story! I really liked the way you stated what the character
    liked and added it to the story. Next time make sure you have correct puncuation and grammar.
    -Ana Palmer

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  5. I liked the idea of the story but at the part you put the prompt,right after that when you wrote "then the lollipop" did not make sense.

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